I cried..

Yesterday I had the last day of school for this year! I had my very last exam, my practical exam. Baking my rainbow-checker-cake, one for six and one for one person. I don’t think I will ever ever do a one person cake EVER again :p !

But back to yesterday.. I had to drive to  Louvain (Leuven) – were my current school is – instead of first riding my bike to the station, then take the train to Louvain and then take a bus to my school. Because I had to bring like tons of supplies I just could not  bring all that stuff on the train, etc.
I left 5 minutes earlier than planned and it ended with me being 30 minutes earlier at school. That was a great start to the day for me, less stressing about getting to start tin time.

Time to start baking. I had the luck of not having any problems while baking. Except for the fact that the teacher did not order any good melting chocolate. But this was the result #loveit.

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Then it was the moment to let the jury taste my cake. A scary moment, I was so sick waiting for my turn.
Time to go in with my cakes, that’s when my great feeling went downwards. They jury was my practical teacher and someone from outside the school. But… Yeah.. How am I going to put this, my teacher for some reason does not like me. I just don’t know why, even someone of my class noticed and just did not understand why.  And he was just so rude! In the 30 minutes I was inside the room they said one – ONE!! – positive thing. When they tasted they said “Hmm, this is delicious”. And that was it.. In the full 30 minutes I got one positive comment 😦 . One of the things I got was that the chocolate I did was totally wrong … My teacher did not order the right chocolate and it was my fault.. They saw my cake as a children’s cake and said that kids don’t like speculoos ?!

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What made me even more down was the fact that everyone got a whole list of compliments. Even a girl that totally messed up and it was completely her own fault. Even she got almost no bad comments.

I as a future teacher would never show which students are my favorite of the ones I don’t really like. I mean you look for the good things in that person and concentrate on those things.

On my way back I also had to drop of one of my classmates and we talked about the fact that that ain’t right. This made me overthink everything again and when I was almost home I just started crying. I felt so helpless!
Once I was in I couldn’t hold myself, I just broke down. I’m so scared right now that I’m going to fail 😦 .

Now I have to wait for the 28th of june until I know if I failed or got my diploma. #Scared

Does anyone has any tips to keep me calm while waiting for these results?

One thought on “I cried..

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